Well I went in and got on my robe...it was red today...and they brought me in asked if the procedure had been explained to me..(I am thinking....a hundred and then a couple more and I am still clueless!) I got positioned on the table and they lined up my tatoo dots :) and told me they were going to take a couple pictures and get everything lined up and then they would be back in before they did the actual radiation. They gave me a nice, warm blanket (which I am becoming accustom to....) and left me there. To lay still. By myself. I had a brief anxiety moment...I mean they were going to zap me with radiation! What even is that?!?!? But the Lord got me back together rather quickly and I decided it was best to just remain calm and focus on Him. If Peter could walk on water while He was focused on God, I suppose we could get through this.
So they took the pictures and came back in and checked everything..and she left again. I have decided I am going to close my eyes for these scans, and radiations and exrays...I really don't need to know what is going on around me. So I just layed back and tried to relax...again another anxious moment....because this is sorta weird! Well, we got it back together and I started just singing some praise songs in my head. It calmed me. Then I noticed the strange noise the machine was making. It reminded me of a chomping sounds...I immediately started thinking about pac man for some reason and had the picture of the radiation chomping out my cancer....chomp, chomp, chomp...it was sorta cool. So I sang praise music in my head, and every once in a while said "chomp, chomp, chomp" (in my head of course:) And then it was over before I knew it.
I got up and got dressed and was out the door. One down twenty four to go!
I went shopping...I figured I deserved it :)
Isn't it amazing how much can go through a persons mind in such a short amount of time. I don't think I was on that table long but I feel like I had so many different emotions...fear, anxiety, peace, even a little giggle inside. It reminds me again that our emotions are not all that trustworthy. They seem to fail us when we need them the most.
Proverbs 3:5-8
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.
We should trust in God alone. He is the only one who we can trust. He knows us, He knows our future, He knows our past....
He still loves us!
So no matter if you are just a little frazzled today or you have little radiation pac man chomping at your cancer.....God is good and trustworthy. Put your trust in Him, not yourself or your silly emotions. Focus on God...literally...like Peter did. And He will help you walk on water too.
Blessings
